Articles and News

Merrick, NY—Jewelers love romance, especially when it drives a huge diamond sale. But when the biggest romance in the store is between two of your staff, it can be a touchy situation indeed.

The scandal surrounding General David Petraeus's affair with Paula Broadwell brings to light some interesting points about high-level leaders who don’t keep their zippers closed. But Petraeus isn't alone--far from it. According to this article on cbsnews.com, the reason sexual misconduct has felled more than a few top leaders in corporate, government, and even religious organizations is because some of the very traits that led these top dogs to success—such as a willingness to take risks—also drive risk-taking of the wrong kind.

But what about an ordinary, garden-variety office romance where both participants are single, unattached, consenting adults who simply hope to find The One and happened to stumble upon Mr. or Ms. Right in the course of work? Should an employer interfere?

In some cases, the answer is a clear “yes.” HR experts are virtually unanimous in their affirmation that a romantic relationship between employees in a direct-report relationship is a no-no. Ditto for any kind of relationship where one has influence over the other’s career or where there is a potential for preferential treatment.

But in other cases, the answer isn’t as clear. For example, when the two employees have no direct work relationship and little or no daily contact, is it necessary to forbid intra-company dating? Conversely, even if they have no direct relationship but you fear a romance—or possible falling out—could affect the rest of the staff in a small work environment, do you forbid dating?

According to HRHero.com, many companies don’t have policies about employee dating, relying on existing sexual harassment laws for preventing inappropriate office behavior. The argument against a dating policy is that it’s too intrusive in employees’ private lives. And, says the site, there’s always a gray area—what, exactly, constitutes dating? What about two people who are very close friends and spend a lot of time together, but aren’t sleeping together? Should that also be verboten?

Not surprisingly, the argument for a dating policy is that if an employee’s personal drama affects productivity, it’s the company’s right to step in. 

HRHero suggests an acceptable middle ground: you can allow dating with the proviso that the couple notifies the company that they are dating, and/or signs a document stating that they’ve entered the relationship voluntarily—called a “love contract” or consensual relationship agreement. Inform the couple of your sexual harassment policies and be sure they’re understood; also be sure they understand your policies regarding workplace behavior and displays of affection.

The validity of a consensual relationship agreement so far hasn’t been tested in court, says the site, but it could help protect you from a later harassment suit if the romance goes sour. And while it may seem intrusive to require a couple to sign an affidavit of their romance, HRHero says it’s ultimately less intrusive than telling them to break up or quit their jobs.

What would, or did, you do in the case of a staff romance?  Comments welcome below.