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New York, NY—How do you let customers know your business is the best and they should be buying from you? Is it because you’re innovative, with a proven track record of providing outstanding customer experiences?

According to Bnet.com, that’s exactly what you should not say on your website (or, presumably, anywhere else). Bnet.com author Jeff Haden thinks these business buzzwords—whether used on a website or in a personal or business bio—need to go away. Consider them the online equivalent of the late comedian George Carlin’s Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television:

• “Passionate.” Can you really be passionate about four or five things? More than one is an interest, not a passion, Haden says. “Focused” and “driven” are believable, but he suggests you save “passionate” for your significant other.
• “Authority.” Haden likens this word to Margaret Thatcher’s comment about having power or being a lady: in both cases, if you have to say you are, you aren’t. Instead, he says, show why people would consider you an authority.
• “Workaholic.” Customers don’t care how hard you work, they care about what you accomplish. And working 24/7 may not prove you’re dedicated; it may instead suggest you’re not very efficient.
• “Guru.” Haden didn’t say why he hates this term, only that he does. He also hates  “sage,” “connoisseur,” “guerilla,” or any other word that is clever for cleverness’ sake. (Editor’s note: “Expert” is a good substitute if you in fact are one. And Haden didn’t say he hates it.)
• “Serial entrepreneur.” Haden says there are indeed people who have begun multiple, successful businesses—but everyone else who uses this descriptor typically has started a string of failed businesses and keeps throwing stuff against the wall till something sticks.
• “Technologist.” This means, “using scientific knowledge to solve practical problems.” Unless you actually do this, says Haden, you’re just interested in technology.
• “Strategist.” Again, the real definition is someone who looks at the present, envisions something different, and develops approaches to make their vision a reality, says Haden. Most strategists actually are coaches who use their own experience and some proven methodologies to help companies improve. And 99% of the time, that’s all companies need, anyway.
• You’re “unique.” So is everyone else. A corollary is “a unique blend of ______.” So unless you’re Kentucky Fried Chicken, skip that one too, he says. But back to unique—Haden says the point isn’t to be unique, the point is to be better. Since chances are someone else somewhere also does what you do, describe how you do it better.
• “World class.” Usain Bolt is a “world-class” sprinter, says Haden, but merely providing products or services to customers in other parts of the world doesn’t make a company world class.
• “Proven track record.” Haden points out that just about every company has a proven track record of some sort—good or bad. Instead of using the tired term, show specifics.
• “Collaborative approach.” Nice to know you’re not going to ram your idea down the customer’s throat, but Haden says it’s far more useful if you describe exactly how you work together with the customer to find solutions.
• “Outstanding customer experiences.” That’s a given; without it, your business fails, says Haden. So go beyond the obvious and tell the customer how it’s going to be outstanding.
• “Dynamic” means “vigorously active and forceful,” he says—and he’d personally prefer to stay away from such people.
• “Innovative.” Most companies claim to be but few truly are. But Haden says that’s ok; it’s not a requirement for success. If you really are innovative, describe how.
• “Myriad solutions,” in Haden’s view, means “we’ll do anything you’re willing to pay for,” and the word “solutions” is overused and therefore meaningless. If your company really does provide myriad solutions, then break them all down by categories so the customer can click on each, read the description, and know how you’re going to solve his or her problem.
• “Results oriented.” No kidding. Haden says (facetiously) that without that, he’d assume you’re going to focus on something more important than getting results. Also nix the term “service provider,” unless you are, in fact, an Internet service provider a la AOL.

Read the complete “10 Words that Should Never Appear on Your Website” here, and “8 Words That Should Never Appear in Your Twitter Bio” here.

Haden revisits these terms and more in another Bnet.com article titled “7 Ways to Write A Better ‘About Us’ Page”, a part of your website which, he says, probably gets a lot more hits than you realize. Customers really do want to know about the companies they’re going to do business with. And he emphasizes again that all the superlatives in the world are no substitute for hard facts.